Thank you for your response.
I've tried adding my buddy three ways, all of which silently fail. All start, click on Buddies, then Add Buddies. Then:
1) just type their username (for example, robert)
2) username with server name shown in console (i.e. robert@testopen)
3) username with server IP (i.e. robert@192.168.1.4)
Using the group, I do see him, and his name matches #2 above.
So, any ideas on what I can check to see why #2 fails?
Edit: Some more experimenting shows the problem. Apparently, at least with Pidgin, when I add a user (using #2), that user must OK me adding him before he shows up. Once he OK's me, then he shows up. Marking this one as fixed. Thank you again.