To get yourself back on track you can do:
1. If using MS SQL as your DB, edit the settings in there manually and change the IP adress back
or
2. Edit openfire.xml and change <setup>true</setup> to <setup>false</setup> - startup the application and run through the setup screens.
About the dropped connections: Do you have the Windows firewall turned on? If so, turn it off on all three options to rule that out... even if you think you have created the proper rules.